$5
Made with the daintiest of venom bladders of the finest lady-adders, Dr. Adder's Adder Bladder Oil is a multipurpose household curative that can treat all manner of illness, infirmity, dysphoria, personal dryness. After seeing his mother die tragically from a competitor's brand of snake-oil, which made all manner of false representations as to efficacy of the healing properties, Dr. Adder vowed to identify the active therapeutic agent in the one brand of snake oil that consistently relieved his dear mother's suffering: adder oil, triple distilled from the bladders, only. The day she passed, she was reaching for her last bottle of adder bladder oil, when, in her sickness, she knocked it from the nightstand, and it shattered, ending her life, as Dr. Adder screamed in the doorway, rending his shirt in the rain that came indoors to grieve with him. He vowed to ensure no adder bladder oil would ever spill, ever again.
To reduce shipping costs, this version fo Dr. Adder's Adder Bladder Oil relies on the concept of performativity to achieve its placating effect. In other words, we recommend applying the decal to preferred products, and voila! You have transitioned the product into being a Dr. Adder's Adder Bladder Oil product, and all of the healing properties of Dr. Adder's Adder Bladder Oil impart into whatever the sticker is applied to. We recommend beginning with one sticker daily and then increasing to two.